This week on animal kingdom we’re observing homosapiens in conflict resolution.
We have just approached a pack of wild females. Let’s watch the ritual unfold.
It looks like, yes, the first female is feeling ignored. We’ve showed up at the exact right time.
And oh… wait… here it comes. The snap! Female A just said something really mean and unwarranted to Female B.
This ladies and gentleman is the single act that sets off the ritual. Now all the females will stand about awkwardly for a moment before going their separate ways to text each other about what just happened. Lets watch.
Oh, there goes Female A, storming off to slam a door.
And Female C being a mere observer, scurries away as quickly as possible to avoid falling victim to any after shocks.
Leaving Female B in solace. Not to lick her wounds no, but to replay to incident in her head allowing her anger to fester and boil, preparing for her own snap. She’ll now rehearse for an argument that is likely never to happen. And being that she will never be given the opportunity to confront her confronter, she’ll soon perform her snap on someone completely unsuspecting.
While Female B is preoccupied by thoughts of “Who does she think she is?!” there is communication among the pride.
Female A has texted Female C.
This is the most crucial and intricate part of the ritual. You see in every argument among females, no matter how big or small, there must be sides.
Everyone, no matter how involved or uninvolved they are in the conflict, must choose a side. No exceptions, not even the males of the species are immune.
And this sadly, is where the homosapien conflict resolution ritual usually ends for the females.
You see, from here the pride will continue to amount people to their sides of the conflict forever more. They’ll keep doing their whispered conversations and texting conferences until one of the females is ostracized from the pride.
The females, unlike their male counterparts, have yet to refine their conflict resolution to simpler traditions.
Homosapien males… oh! Oh wait! There’s a pride of homosapien males in conflict right now. Let’s watch!
It looks as though Male A has said something about Male B‘s mother.
Oh and there’s the first swing…
And a punch…
And now the traditional scuffle commences.
Oh oh, one of the males has realized they’ve gone too far. They break it up.
There’s the bro-hug.
And they’re off to the pub for some beers. Conflict resolved.