Top Ten Things Pale Girls Hear at the Beach

10.“Oh my god, you’re so white!”IMG_20160513_150241

Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.

9.“Wow you can’t tan? That would suck.”

Pretty sure skin cancer sucks worse.

8.”Why don’t you just go to tanning beds if you can’t tan?”

Because lighting my money on fire would be more effective.

7.”Why don’t you just try spray tan/bronzer?”

Because white plus orange still equals orange.

6.“Here, use my tanning oil, it’ll help.”

Sure, if I want to DIE!

5.“I couldn’t find where our towel was so I just looked for the whitest girl on the beach ha ha ha!”

Bitch.

4.”We’ve been out here for awhile, how are you still not tan?”

Because my skin is so white it actually reflects the sun. But you’re probably more tan for sitting near me.

3.”You just need to spend more time outside.”

What, 25 years wasn’t long enough?

2.”Wait, you’re getting really red.”

I’ve only got two shades. And my being white wasn’t acceptable. What do you want from me!

And the number one thing pale girls hear at the beach…

1. “OW MY EYES!”


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