I bet you noticed a change around here.
Welcome to Emergency Wine 2.0!
I’m updating my look and expanding my content!
See I started this blog to help me through a hard time. I had just spent the last year focusing all my time and energy on a relationship which ultimately ended. I was lost and used writing to find myself again.
About the relationship, well he was not a perfect person but he was perfect for me. My support gave him the strength to face hard truths. He had issues with substance abuse and was ready to address them. I still commend him for facing his demons but, that is when I started carrying more than 100% of the load.
A good friend once told me that relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100. When one partner is having a hard time and can’t carry their load, the other person carries it for them for a little while. Sometimes relationships will feel like 80/120 or 0.5/199.5, but the balance will always reset.
I was carrying more than my weight for a long time. Trying to take care of him and myself.
I was his support system. And, with nowhere to turn to, my support system was a bottle of emergency wine.
I felt like we would be ok someday if I just held on. Then I opened my eyes.
I saw things were great. He has been sober and stable for a long time. So why was I still carrying more than my weight?
It took me a while to figure out that well I was giving him the space he needed to get better and I had left no room for myself. It’s hard to explain. The simplest way to put it was that I was ignored. He didn’t take into consideration my needs. He cancelled plans on me constantly and ignored me when we were out with friends but would still tell me how much he loved me every day. I felt like I had spent the last year sitting and waiting for him. It took me a long time to see that I had completely lost myself.
So, though I loved him very much, I had to break my own heart and end it.
This is when I started my recovery.
Things change in life all the time, but the one thing that has always been there for me is the comfort I get from writing. It is a place to set down emotions when they are too heavy to carry.
Today, I can recognize myself again. So instead of exclusively posting short stories, poems and whatever other weirdness happen to strike me— I want to share the story of my life.
I want to continue connecting with you. Tell me what you started your blog for? Has that changed? Where are you with it today? I want to know about your growing world. We can encourage each other and help grow our online lives together 🙂
Thanks for reading,